Pretti
by ButtonsMagoo
Summary: Who's that new Pretti girl on the camden stylee scene? This is just a light hearted OC/Vince pee-take, dedicated to Lady Eros.


**I doubt anyone on here knows who I am considering everyone is practically different to who I used to know on here, so just for introductions sake, I'm ButtonsMagoo :) Nice to meet you.**

**Kay so this fic was purley just a time waster. It's just a light hearted joke and I hope it goes down well. I don't really like Mary Sue characters, so this is the way i've expressed my dislike. **

**Obvious disclaimer - yeah, the boosh isn't mine, this idea however is mine and shared with the brilliant mind of Lady Eros whom I have legal custody of our OC with. **

**Enjoy**

**x  
**

A girl, no older than eighteen strutted down the road. She was new to the area just a simple university student studying fashion. She wore bright red skinnies with black stars on, a too tight t-shirt to show off her stomach tattoo of a crown with 'Pretti' written atop it and a gold jacket. Her hair was hidden under a hat but if it was down a strong shade of blue would pronounce her face and highlight her eyes. She'd been walking for miles in her doc martens she customised her self with swear words everything in her world was just peachy until she ran into a man. This man had brown hair.

"You should pay more attention to the roads miss; people are too coming your way." The man with small eyes said.

"Yeah whatever." The girl replied and carried on, ignoring the man as though he had no significance in the world what so ever. As she carried on walking she spotted a green jacket in the window of a small shop, ages away from any other shop in the area. She read the sign and walked in. She was stunned; the shop was cluttered with everything that said her. Clothes, shoes, clothes, shoes, clothes, toys, shoes, clothes, jazz. Eurgh, okay not everything. She carried on scanning the shop, her smoky eyes resting on the shop clerk. He was swinging back on his chair, his feet resting on the glass counter; he was reading a magazine and chewing gum.

"Hi." She said, making him jump at her presence, he swung his legs off the counter and stood up, smiling.

"Hey." He replied, smiling. Pretty. She thought.

"I'm Pretentious, Pretentious Ditz." She smiled, holding her hand out. The man looked hesitantly at the outstretched hand before taking it. "But you can call me Pretti; everyone says I should be called Pretti. For obvious reasons."

"Of course they do. Well, I'm Vince Noir, nice to meet you."

Pretti stopped.

"You're Him. You're you, you're… oh."

"That's me." Vince grinned. "You're boots are genius by the way! Did you customise them yourself?" Pretti nodded, still to stunned to speak. Vince laughed, "'ere do you have a mobile?" He asked, chuckling as she passed him her phone, still quiet. He punched in his number and saved it.

"Give us a bell, yeah?" She nodded and walked back out the shop, slumping against the wall. She had met him, the person everyone raved about. She had to tell her friend, Mary.

Later that night she'd arrived back home, she was tired. Long walks always did that to her, as did meeting famous people. She stroked the keys on her phone, mumbling under her breath 'he's touched them' she said over and over again. She'd spent an hour staring at the number too. Was if too soon to say she was in love, but she was. She was in love. He thumbed over the number and without delay pressed dial.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

"Alright?" The familiar voice came through the receiver, Pretti melted.

"It's me, Pretti."

"Ah, the girl with the cool boots?"

He remembers me! She thought.

"Yeah, that's me. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come out tonight, just for a drink. At the Velvet Onion?" She crossed her fingers and toes, and counted her lucky stars.

"Yeah why not. Might have to bring my mate along, he's a right basket case but it's okay, we'll just stick him on the karaoke he'll be alright."

"Cool," Pretti said nonchalantly, trying to keep her head even though she was screaming on the inside. "How does seven sound?"

"See you there, yeah."

The call ended, and Pretti just melted into the sofa clutching her phone, she was in love she knew it.

She'd arrived early at the onion in the end, she was too eager. She wore the same boots considering Vince had liked them so much, but had exchanged her trousers for black ones and her top for a much shorter one that just framed her boobs. She wore her hair down, just to see if he would like it. He did.

"Wow, your hair is amazing. I've often considered pink hair, but my mate thinks I'd look stupid, what does he know. I mean, well you'll see him soon. He knows nothing about colour, put it that way."

Pretti looked around. "Where is your friend anyway?"

"Parking the van, he's driving tonight. He always drives, cos I can't but oh well. Here he is now," Vince sighed, turning to greet his friend. Pretti gasped, it was the man he ran into earlier. Jazz man.

"Oh, it's you!" Pretti said, Vince looked around.

"You've met?"

"Yeah, he walked into me." Pretti replied and Vince rolled his eyes.

"He's dead clumsy. Come on then, let's go." Vince smiled, leading the way into the club. Pretti had never been in here before, but she'd see it when she was walking earlier and it looked good. It wasn't wrong about being Velvet, everything was velvet… and everything smelt of onion she noted to herself, blocking her nose as she went.

"Oh Howard, this is Pretti. I think she'd like a drink, if you get me." Vince winked and Howard nodded, walking off to get the drinks. Pretti grinned, free drinks all night by the looks of things. Just then Gary Numan started playing and she noticed Vince bopping his head slightly. She loved Gary Numan.

"I love this song, do you want to dance?" She asked abruptly, surprised as she didn't know where the question had come from. Vince nodded, and they strutted off the dance floor, the place which they stayed for most of the night if they weren't in the toilets or drinking themselves silly. It was no wonder that Howard had to take them both home that night.

When Pretti woke up in the morning she noticed she wasn't in her flat but someone else's. She panicked for a moment before remembering her previous night with Vince Noir, she sighed happily. She sat up on the sofa ruffling her hair, making a mental note to borrow Vince's straighteners, another privilege she thought. Harold, or Harvey, or Hector was sat on the arm chair opposite her reading the morning paper.

"Morning Henry." She yawned.

"Howard."

"Yeah whatever. Where's Vince?"

"He'll be in bed for another 5 hours or so. It's a Sunday."

"Oh, well I want to talk to him. I love him you know."

"Oh, do you now?"

"Yes Howard and I don't want you getting in the way. I love him, I love him I love- '

"Howard! She's an alien, don't listen to her, and stand back. She's got to be dealt with immediately." Naboo lisped, Pretti looked bewildered, it was the last look she could give before Naboo vaporized her.

Her ash mumbled "You've vaporised me you slags." Howard cocked an eyebrow at the mumbling pile before kicking it with his heel.

"You really have to watch these odd characters, from the planet sue I think they're from."

"Naboo, what am I going to tell Vince?"

"What about me?" Vince yawned walking out the room in his leopard print dressing gown and pink fluffy slippers.

"There's a Colobus the Crab omnibus on today." Howard retorted instantly, Vince grinned and jumped on the sofa, he patted the spare cushion for Howard to sit on, and they watched together happily.

Naboo just shrugged. "Bollo, get the hoover out."


End file.
